Recently, I have come across several examples of what I can only call “failed young adults”.  People, over the age of 21, several of them with college degrees, who can’t seem to manage simple life skills on their own.  Things like hailing a taxi, or getting themselves from their parents home to their own (out of state) apartment.  Sometimes even little things like getting themselves, independently, to a local event they want to attend.

Now, I’m not complaining about young adults asking for advice, it’s when they need someone else to actually “do for them”, that I get concerned.

It seems to me, that a parent’s job is not, and should not be, to make sure that their child is never disappointed, never bruised, and always happy.  A parent’s job is to make sure that their child can be a fully functioning, independent adult when the time comes.  That means letting the child get bruises as a child, and make mistakes as a teenager.  Letting (and sometimes forcing a recalcitrant youth) to take risks so that they can gain the confidence required to function at a bare minimum level of competence.

As a parent, if I fail to teach my child life skills, like cooking, cleaning up after themselves, managing their money, and organizing their own transportation, then I have failed as a parent.

If we as a society are failing to teach out children these things, aren’t we failing too?

All I wanted to do was add some storage space to our master bathroom.  I use the term “room” loosely as really, it’s a closet with a toilet, sink, and tub jammed in there with a shoehorn.  It is seriously the smallest full bath I’ve ever seen.  You have to leave the room to change your mind.

So, back in May, as a birthday present to myself, I bought one of those shelving units that go over the commode.  Yesterday, I gave up on having my husband assemble it and just did it.  (with a lot of help from my mom!).  I went to put it in place, and had to take down the towel rack.

Okay, not a big deal.  I had Jason remove the towel bar, and low and behold, behind the brackets are four huge ridiculous holes in the wall!

Now we have to fill those in with putty, sand the putty down, and repaint the frigging bathroom!  Of course, repainting the bathroom my DH tells me will require removing said commode.

I don’t want to do a major remodel.  I just want some shelves!!!!

The windows of my house are completely fogged up because of the heat and humidity outside.  My kids got into my spice drawer today and managed to open and dump 3 spice jars all over my floor.  My 2 year old decided to try her hand at disassembling furniture today and took a shelf out of the television stand.  The same one she hid the remote under the other day and we couldn’t find it for ages.  My 1 year old is sick, and refused to nap at all.  My husband is still working at 7:30 at night.  He started before 6 a.m. this morning.  My basement is flooded and the carpet goes “squish” whenever I take a step.  The same 2 year old discussed above is refusing to sleep in her own bed, but is (Thank G-d) willing to sleep in the guest bed.  The sheets for the guest bed are in the washer right now, but she doesn’t seem to mind sleeping on a mattress pad, so okay.  The light in my kitchen burned out.

But, I have a lovely glass of Riesling, and am hereby telling the world it can go take care of its own self.  Mama is done for the day.

I didn’t meal plan for two weeks because we were on vacation for a good part of them, but now the world is back to normal, and so I meal plan again!

Monday: Homemade chicken pot pie (the chicken is leftover from Shabbat and the veggies are cleaning out the gleanings from my crisper drawer), and melon

Tuesday: Leftover smoked brisket from Sunday night, pasta salad, zucchini bread

Wednesday: Omelets with cheese, veggies, and possibly whatever other leftovers we have around the house

Thursday: DH and kids will either have pizza or Mac n Cheese as I will be having dinner out and a night at a hotel with my mom before she does the 3-Day 60 mile Komen Walk to raise money for Breast Cancer Research.

Shabbat: I haven’t decided what I’m serving this week as both my mom and sister will be gone at the walk.  We may have take-out actually.

So, I was at Soma the other day, Chico’s “new” lingerie store.  Now, completely setting aside the poorly chosen store name, I have to admit, I’m a fan.  They (unlike another lingerie store who shall remain nameless but is known by the abbreviation VS) didn’t make me feel like I’m the size of a house for needing a bra in a size above 32 B.

Seriously, if you wear a 32 B, do you really even need a bra?  But that’s another rant.

Anyway, now that I’m officially no longer pregnant or nursing, for the first time in 3 years, I decided that I needed new bras.  My 36F nursing bras were coming apart, and just not making me feel attractive, in any way.

I noticed a sign in the shop window that they were running a “Buy 1 Get 1 50% off” deal, so I tried ‘em out.

That isn’t what this post is about either though.  I really ought to get to the point, right?

As my purchases are being rung up, I noticed a sign that Soma’s is collecting “new or gently used” bras to give to charity.  Apparently they send them off to their factory in Bangladesh or wherever, repair them to meet the special Soma’s specifications, and then ship them back to the U.S. to donate to “local” charities.

Okay, so here is my question.  Who the hell has “Gently Used” bras????  I use the damn things until the elastic is giving out and they are starting to come apart at the seams.  They just barely keep the girls contained, and I’m still wearing ‘em “just one more week” I ask of my bras, over and over again.  That sure isn’t “Gently Used”.

Okay, so if we don’t actually have “Gently Used” that we want to be rid of, why would we buy new bras (I’m assuming somewhere other than Soma where a bra actually runs $44) and then bring it in to Soma to donate?  Why not just take the new bra, tags still on even, and donate it to the charity in question?

I just don’t get it.

If a company actually wants to do good in this world, and get credit for being charitable, just give the $$$ you’re spending to ship these bras back and forth, repair them, etc, and give it to the charity directly already!

Am I wrong?

Sunday: Pasta with leftover lemon-oregano chicken from Shabbat, kale, onions and cream sauce

Monday: Lasagna, garlic bread, salad

Tuesday: Hamburgers and a variety of salads (bean, potato, green, etc) depending on my mood

Wednesday: Leftovers

Thursday: Grilled steaks, corn on the cob, caprese salad

Shabbat: Not my week to cook, I just bake the challah!

Do you ever wonder “Is that what I’m supposed to be doing with my life?” I don’t mean do you wonder if I’m doing what I should be, ’cause I’m doing enough of that on my own. What I mean is, do you wonder if you are doing what you should be.

Have I confused you yet?

I’ve been wondering, am I doing what I should be? I mean, I’m raising two wonderful children. I know, I know, child rearing is THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB IN THE UNIVERSE!(tm). At least, that’s what I tell my other SAHM friends. We are home, where the important stuff is happening, the next generation being formed, our husbands are just off earning $ to enable us to raise the FUTURE OF ALL HUMANITY!

Yeah.

I have a college degree, that I’m still paying for. I am (or at least used to be) an intelligent person. I have all this G-d given talent and ability, and I’m spending my days building block towers and serving up lunches and sweeping up cheerios and doing eleventy-nine loads of laundry a day.

Is this what I’m supposed to be doing? Shouldn’t I be saving the world? From what, I dunno. Pick a tragedy, there sure seem to be enough of them these days.

I feel adrift, and I guess what I’m asking is this: Am I alone?

Or letting go of perfectionism.

My cousin has a travel delay, and poor guy, he is stuck here in one of the “flyover” states until tomorrow.  So, we chatted through Facebook (isn’t technology grand) and he’s going to come on down for dinner tonight.

Historically, this would send me into a tizzy.  My house isn’t spotless.  My 2 year old has scabs on her face from a run-in (fall-in?) with our concrete patio on Father’s day, and I wouldn’t have any idea what I was making for dinner for my family, much less for my cousin and my folks who also are really looking forward to seeing him.

Today, that’s not how things are going though!  My house isn’t spotless, but it is clean enough.  I need to sweep up some cheerios from morning snack, and put away the cheerios and raisins which are still on the counter in the kitchen, but that’s it cleanup wise.  My house doesn’t NEED to be spotless.  Clean enough is totally clean enough!

I know what I’m making for dinner thanks to FlyLady and ChiveTalker.  I just need to run out to the store, which was already on the agenda today, and pick up a little more stuff to fill the meal out.  Two fish fillets won’t feed 5 adults and 2 toddlers, no matter how much rice goes with the curry. 

So, basically, I’m not flipping out and running around like a chicken without a head.  I’m letting my children watch Dinosaur Train while they play.  I’m enjoying my coffee.  Heck, I’m writing a post on my blog.

You know what, letting go of perfectionism is a really good thing for my sanity!

Hey, when the kool-aid is this inspiring, I’ll drink right up!

1. I’m grateful for my husband. He works crazy hours, but is still willing to get up with the kids in the morning so I have a chance to catch a few more zzzz’s.

2. I’m grateful for my adorable children. Their minds work in incredible ways and I’m always surprised by what they come up with.

3. I’m grateful for my friends, without whom I totally would be in a loony bin

4. I’m grateful for my mom, who knows when to help make grandiose plans, and when to reign me back in before I go off the deep end and buy 47 yards of fabric or a dog.

5. I’m grateful that we have a roof over our heads, and food in the fridge. All my worries are pretty much silliness because we have the things we need.

I’m actually grateful for more than just this, but the kool-aid is to list 5, so 5 it is!

Monday: Sauteed chicken thighs in creamy leek sauce, brown rice, and collard greens

Tuesday: Whole wheat pasta, shrimp in garlic butter, sauteed bok choy

Wednesday: As always, the plan is SnB, the back-up plan is take out! I think I may also make a fruit cobbler

Thursday: Fish curry with pineapple, pea pods, and whatever is left in the crisper

Shabbat: Not my week to cook!    As the “Fiesta Shabbat” went over so well for my sister’s birthday, I think that plan is being revamped for this week with some minor alterations.  I love Mexican food, so no complaints here!